|Surfing in the face of danger
||[May. 21st, 2011|03:12 am]
Woo! Surfing the internet at 3AM while Armageddon no doubt rages outside my window is just more proof of how badass I am.
Anyway, who wants to meet up in the smoking remains of our destroyed civilization later today? Say around noon? I'll be the one wearing spiked shoulder pads and driving a dune buggy. Post-apocalypse block party! Wahoo!
This has got to be my favorite apocalypse ever. Is there any way that the December 21st, 2012 apocalypse could possibly match up to this one? I doubt it. You've got your work cut out for you, Mayans! I know you've got Quetzlcoatl waiting in the wings (get it?) to devour the world, but that's going to seem pretty lame in comparison to the giant earthquakes that I have full confidence are actually occurring outside right now.
I'm obviously just one of God's chosen, so that's why they haven't affected me, but it must be pretty damned (literally) apocalyptic out there for the rest of humanity. Too bad you're not all as holy as I am, suckers!
Anyway, I remain skeptical about the whole world-devouring thing. Earthquakes are much more exciting. When you get devoured by a winged snake-bird god, it's over in like two seconds. World-destroying earthquakes are the apocalypse that keeps on apocalypting.
Happy Apocalypse, everyone!