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M. McGregor

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Surfing in the face of danger [May. 21st, 2011|03:12 am]
M. McGregor

Woo! Surfing the internet at 3AM while Armageddon no doubt rages outside my window is just more proof of how badass I am.

Anyway, who wants to meet up in the smoking remains of our destroyed civilization later today? Say around noon? I'll be the one wearing spiked shoulder pads and driving a dune buggy. Post-apocalypse block party! Wahoo!

This has got to be my favorite apocalypse ever. Is there any way that the December 21st, 2012 apocalypse could possibly match up to this one? I doubt it. You've got your work cut out for you, Mayans! I know you've got Quetzlcoatl waiting in the wings (get it?) to devour the world, but that's going to seem pretty lame in comparison to the giant earthquakes that I have full confidence are actually occurring outside right now.

I'm obviously just one of God's chosen, so that's why they haven't affected me, but it must be pretty damned (literally) apocalyptic out there for the rest of humanity. Too bad you're not all as holy as I am, suckers!

Anyway, I remain skeptical about the whole world-devouring thing. Earthquakes are much more exciting. When you get devoured by a winged snake-bird god, it's over in like two seconds. World-destroying earthquakes are the apocalypse that keeps on apocalypting.

Happy Apocalypse, everyone!

[User Picture]From: nitsuj911
2011-05-21 10:08 am (UTC)
You my dear friend are awesomesauce :).
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[User Picture]From: m_mcgregor
2011-05-21 05:17 pm (UTC)
Holy awesomesauce, thank you very much.
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From: (Anonymous)
2011-05-21 01:56 pm (UTC)
Not to rain on your badassiness, but the earthquake isn't suppost to start until around 6 pm Pacific so the post-apocalypse party can't happen until tomorrow.

However, I will be free to join you once I finish clubbing other surviors to death for their supplies and/or women. Is the entrance fee to the party one slave girl or two?
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[User Picture]From: m_mcgregor
2011-05-21 05:20 pm (UTC)
The way I heard it, it was supposed to happen at 6PM in EVERY time zone. I'll sure miss the large percentage of the world that's already gone past 6PM in their local time zones, and no doubt been destroyed in a quaking fury.
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From: arkeus
2011-05-21 02:31 pm (UTC)
Well, the apocalypse is upon us. Us poor sinners who would be still alive tomorrow will be in hell.

so be ready to kill your assholes neighbours to help them go to heaven!
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[User Picture]From: m_mcgregor
2011-05-21 05:21 pm (UTC)
It's the neighborly thing to do.
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[User Picture]From: mymatedave
2011-05-22 02:14 pm (UTC)
Huh, my internet was down I woke up this afternoon, but I honestly don't think shutting down my internet for a few hours is much of an apocalypse. God just isn't trying hard anymore.
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From: (Anonymous)
2011-05-29 09:01 pm (UTC)
The idi... local doomsayer... now says that doom will befall us sometime this october. His excuse for changing the timetable is that the apocalypse needs a couple of months to get going, we should expect the plagues and the frograins to occur in the intermediate.
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